Why Being A Single Mother Is So RewardingCaroline Fenton
WHY BEING A SINGLE MOTHER IS SO REWARDING
Guest Blog written by Lucy Good from Beanstalk Single Mums, an online space empowering single mothers to re-find their potential and re-build their confidence.
Motherhood. For many it’s not quite as we imagined. What is that saying? ‘I thought I was a great parent until I had kids’. So true.
For single mums, often their motherhood journey is a long way from their perceived conceptions (excuse the pun). There are so many reasons that women become single mums, and so many circumstances by which single mums live. Some mothers have even chosen to mother alone from the word go.
But if there’s one thing that most single mums will agree on, it is that it’s tough, but it is also incredibly rewarding.
Here are some reasons why I find mothering alone so fulfilling…
It challenges every part of your being.
Motherhood is challenging for everyone. We all cope differently. I am not saying that single mothers have it harder. Yet, to parent entirely alone or to co-parent presents new challenges that are not on the parenting spectrum for partnered mums. We have to be masters of time management, communication, negotiation. And we assume the roles of two parents practically, financially and emotionally. Single mums take on board each challenge, and whether we fail or succeed, it will always make us stronger.
It teaches you about guilt and why not to feel it.
Whatever the circumstance, most single mums will feel guilt to some degree. Society thrusts the conventional family in our face at every turn, and yes, the single mother stigma still exists. Add this to everyday mum guilt and BAM it’s an overwhelming emotion. Being overwhelmed by anything forces us to deal with it. And it doesn’t take long for us single mums to realise that guilt is a wasted emotion. Modern day single mums are extremely proud of who they are and what they have achieved, and guilt has no room in this.
It gives us a great sense of purpose and worth.
Being a single mother means you work extra hard. We are the sole bread-winners and carers for our children. Ask a single mum at random how she feels, and she will likely say ‘exhausted’. But dig a little further and you will discover she also feels indescribably content. And many feel that they have never felt happier, luckier and more content at any other point in their life.
It makes us feel like we can take on the world.
Single mums do it ALL. Make the money, cook the dinner, fix the tap, put up the dreaded flat pack. We are constantly coming out of our comfort zones and learning new things. And why? Because we have to. The end result is that we become highly independent. Our skill set triples and with this so does our confidence … and we are left feeling that we are capable of ANYTHING.
It intensifies the moments with our children making them even more special.
Co-parenting single mums have to learn a new trick: living away from their children. It can take a while to get used to, but it means every moment we spend with them is even more special. As for single mums who parent 24/7, they have a hugely challenging job, but it makes the memorable moments, such as first day of school and winning an award, all the more rewarding. When you look at a group of mums and see one with a ridiculously proud glow around her .. that’ll be a single mama, I bet you.
END NOTE: I believe all mothers are wonderful. We all have challenges, many of which are unique. This article is a shout-out to single mothers in particular.
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